Oh... em... shoot.

This week, I was approached after school by an colleague whom I respect very much. This person advised me that it would probably be best if I stopped saying "O-M-G" (or, oh. em. gee!) in front of the kids. I almost laughed because I thought she was joking, until she very seriously told me that it is wrong to take the Lord's name in vain in front of children.

Oh. So she wasn't joking.

I thought I'd be more annoyed, but I'm not because she had a very valid point. I do say the phrase a lot, and I have always thought/intended it to mean "Omigosh!" in a fun, abbreviated form. I don't want people to think I mean any differently, so I decided that very day that I was going to turn this into a personal challenge. Emily Schmitz is officially going to stop abbreviating common words in her vocab, for realz. This means no more...

- Oh. em. gee!
- Fab
- Delish
- Condish
- Comersh
- Profesh
- Loves it
- BF
- Fo' (this is the number four... it comes out a lot when I'm teaching math)

In two days, the kids in my classroom have already caught on to the changes. You should never underestimate the power of observancy in children. They catch on to ev.ery.thing. They notice when I sprout zits, when I need a Diet Coke, or when I'm having a bad day (but that's easy, because my bad days are the ones when I do NOT jump on chairs and serenade them with songs from Glee). This conversation took place yesterday:

Me: "OH. EM... I mean... shoot... OMIGOSH!"
Students: "Why did you do that?"
Me: "Do what?"
Students: "Correct yourself."
Me: "I didn't."
Students: "Yes you did! You said 'omigosh.'
Me: "Um. So?"
... blank stares...

I told them about my personal challenge and that I was finally going to enter adulthood and speak like a professional. They got all philosophical and cute and I felt like I was in a therapy session run by 10-year-olds:

"But Ms. Schmitz, your vocab us what makes YOU, YOU!"
"It's boring when you talk normal."
"Only OLD teachers say full words."

I have to admit, those are insightful things to say. What if my choices of words ARE what makes my personality the way it is? What if I LIKE shortening any words that end with "tioner" or "mmercial" or "ssional" to a "sh?" Is it really so bad? Maybe there won't be a time in my life that I am successful in making changes in my vocabulary. And someday, when I'm an old, crinkled 90-year-old woman, I hope I am still saying that dinner was absolutely DELISH, thank you very much. That would just be fab.

Rambo

Today I am resurrecting a YouTube video taken at my grandparents' farm in the summer of 2008. I still find it flipping hysterical!

Time Machine

Me: "I need to build a time machine before next week."
Student: "For what?"
Me: "Duh. Our classroom colony."
Student: "What do we need to get for it?"
Me: "Well, we need a flux capacitor..."
Student: "And where might we get one of those? I mean, it's not like we can run up to Ace and get one."
Me: "I'll think about it. What kind of fuel should it run on?"
Student: "Well, the time machine in Back to the Future ran on uranium, but you could make it run on Diet Coke!"

Again... daaaang these kids are smart ;)

Wisconsin: The Feeding Trough has Run Dry!

Dear Wisconsin,

Are you all really still crying about losing your collective bargaining "privileges?" And Wisconsin Senate Democrats, did you all REALLY dismiss yourself from work and leave the state to avoid the vote on this important bill? (Let's be clear: you're trying to AVOID voting. Democrats escaping the democratic process... hmmm...) And Governor Scott Walker, where have you been all my life!?

Here are my thoughts, directed especially at Wisconsin teachers: Do us all a grand favor and stop whimpering about your unions breaking up. It's about flipping time. You chose to work in the public sector, so go back to work and perform the service you were hired to do, and that is teaching our nation's children. If you don't like the idea of not being "protected," just do your job well, and you won't have to worry. Lesson of the day: unions cripple education.

During Social Studies one day last week, the kids and I compared and contrasted the mess in Wisconsin to the copper mining union strike of 1913 in Calumet, Michigan. We talked about the need for unions then, and how things are different today. But most of all, in terms that children would understand, we talked about the fact that the states are flipping broke. If the those working in the public sector can tell me how the state can build its economic strength WITHOUT breaking the power of the unions and taking concessions, then I welcome it. The truth is, you can't. One of my little students said, "So this thing in Wisconsin is like if you want to buy something expensive, but you don't have the money to pay for it, so you end up buying it with credit card..."

Workers of Wisconsin, just look at how dang smart these kids are, making the connection. YOUR kids are watching you and the way you're reacting to the current situation. If this bill passes and you take a pay cut and pay a little more into your pension and health benefits, your state- and the future of these children- will be a little more sustainable that it has been. Be responsible adults, learn to live within your means, and set good examples for these kids and the rest of the country.

Sincerely,
Emily Schmitz

P.S. You guys won the Super Bowl and now this? Can you guys just stay out of the news for awhile!?!!